This is something I have never shared publicly. In the past I would mention I’ve struggled with an eating disorder but never in detail because of the shame associated with it. But I figured my story might help others so here it is.
During my early college years I decided to go vegan (thanks to some very persuasive vegan documentaries), and from there I wanted to “step up my game” so I went raw vegan. My diet prior to that wasn’t the standard American diet, it was very clean paleo – whole fruits, vegetables, fish, chicken, raw nuts and seeds. Switching to vegan didn’t benefit my physiology in any shape or form, it only made me feel good about “saving the planet” which is total BS, vegans do more harm to the planet than anyone else.
Few years of veganism and my bones weakened to a point where I was breaking my ribs by simply carrying a heavier box against my rib-cage. At that point I knew veganism wasn’t healthy, my hair was falling out, my skin had ash tone to it, I was looking anorexic but still felt fat (serious body dysmorphia), my anemia worsened. Despite all those issues I was encouraged by all the vegans to keep going, that I just needed to double down on spirulina and everything would balance. Well, things never balanced. I started craving meat and my cravings would get worse when my mom would grill some juicy steaks. One day I gave in to those cravings and felt so horrified. I was brainwashed into believing that by eating animal flesh I would “absorb” all the horror and emotional trauma the animal went through when it was being slaughtered and that my body would be infested with parasites and what not. I went into panic mode and wanted that meat out of me ASAP so I made myself throw up. From there I went back to “being vegan,” I was told to eat more to diminish cravings so I did. Meals turned into severe binges that made me feel uncomfortable and that led to purging which turned into 6 years of severe bulimia that almost ended my life.
I tried many things to end the vicious cycle of bingeing and purging. Every day I kept telling myself this is the last day but last day would never come. I’ve read many books on the brain and behavior and would try many different approaches. Every book said when you get the ‘urge’ go do something else instead of binging, but I guess none of those authors went through this because when you get that “urge” there’s nothing you can do to turn around, it’s almost like something takes over your brain and dictates to you what to do, while the other you – the rational you – is paralyzed. There was nothing in those books on “HOW NOT TO GET THE URGE” in the first place.
It wasn’t until I came across Dr Jack Kruse and his leptin prescription diet blog, which was basically keto/carnivore way of eating, that I was able to break the habit. It took me two weeks on carnivore to get rid of the “other voice” in my head that let to my binges. After six years of my severe bulimia I was finally free and all thanks to carnivore diet. After about a month of eating that way my eating disorder brain seemed to have fixed so I figured I “needed” vegetables and other plant material to stay healthy plus all the research pointed how unhealthy high protein diets were so I started playing around with the traditional ketogenic diet – lots of green veggies, lots of healthy fats, little fish and meats here and there. Despite all that I would still have binge days, severe binge days, I wouldn’t purge anymore but the binges made me feel really shitty emotionally.
Fast forward to now, what started as a 30 day experiment early this year is now month three on carnivore and I finally feel free, I mean TRULY free! No binges, no counting calories, no portion control, no counting macros or other bs! I eat when I’m hungry and no need for snacking. My bones are getting stronger, my anemia is gone, I finally got my period and libido back, my skin is better than ever, and my gut is finally healing. The longer I go on carnivore the more benefits I’m noticing. The only side effect (as I have mentioned in the past) is that damn high libido and being single 😉 , other than that no complaints.
Thank you Dr Baker for everything you do. All the knowledge you provided made me confident that carnivore diet is the way to go as well as it encouraged me to do more of my own research. Now that I have finally healed my mind and body I’m able to focus on coaching others into health and inspire others through posts on IG. Thank you again, let’s heal this world one steak at a time! 🙂